Coaching vs. Therapy: How to Know Which One Is Right for You?

Many people who come to me for coaching start with a question: Should I work with a coach or a therapist?

It’s an important question – and one that can keep us stuck. A client once admitted that wondering which direction to take made him put off getting started for a whole year.

If you’ve ever found yourself in that space of uncertainty, you’re not alone. Navigating this terrain is not straightforward – especially when there’s significant overlap between the two, so many different types of both coaching and therapy, and such varied meanings attached to each.

So let me offer some thoughts on how I think about the difference – and how you might know which one is right for you right now.

Caveat: what follows isn’t a universal map, but a view from my side of the path. I’m a coach, not a therapist – though much of my work sits in the space in-between, as I draw on approaches that stem from therapeutic settings, such as transactional analysis and internal family systems, and explore themes around confidence, self-doubt, and the inner critic.

These are reflections from practice, not universal answers.

Most of us sit somewhere in the middle – not in crisis, not yet thriving. That’s often where both coaching and therapy can help. What matters is where you feel pulled: towards healing what’s been heavy, or towards realising more of what’s possible for you.

Coaching is for when you’re ready to thrive; therapy is for when you need to heal.

Coaching starts from the premise that you’re already resourceful and capable – even if you don’t always feel it. My work begins with the belief that you have what you need inside you already. Perhaps old patterns or limiting narratives are getting in the way, but fundamentally, you are functioning and capable but you want to show up differently – with more confidence, clearer boundaries, and less overwhelm.

Therapy, on the other hand, often starts with healing what’s been hurt. If you’re severely burnt out, struggling to get through the day, if past experiences are overwhelming your present, or if your mental health is making it hard to function – that’s where therapy does its essential work.

It creates the foundation that coaching assumes is already in place.

Of course, most of us carry parts that might benefit from both.

We live in a complex, unpredictable world with anxiety on the rise. Many of my clients arrive in that in-between space – functional enough to hold demanding jobs and care for their families, yet privately struggling in ways that feel unsustainable.

Capable one moment; paralysed by overwhelm the next.

Recent research on mental-health continua shows that in many populations over half of people sit in what might be called a ‘moderate’ or ‘in-between’ zone – neither flourishing nor severely unwell.

The question of coaching vs therapy isn’t necessarily about which is better, but where the centre of gravity lies right now.

Is this more about healing what's been wounded (therapy), or stepping into who you're capable of becoming, on a foundation that's already sound enough (coaching)?

I’ve also written in this article about how we’re not always one consistent version of ourselves – different parts of us come forward at different times, each with their own needs and agendas.

Three things to consider when deciding between coaching and therapy.

There’s no single rule, but here are a few questions I like to ask that can help find your bearings.

1. Are you grounded enough to reflect and grow – or caught in dysregulation?

Coaching requires you to stay present enough to think, feel, and take action. You might feel anxious or uncertain, but can move forward.

Therapy may be needed when emotions feel unmanageable – the work focuses on restoring a sense of safety and regulation so you can find your footing again.

2. Do you have the bandwidth to create change – or is there no space left?

Coaching depends on having enough internal space and capacity. You might be stretched, but you still have energy to experiment and learn. And sometimes the process of coaching itself begins to create that space – when we lift the fog of overthinking or step back from the weight of other people’s expectations, things can start to feel more spacious right away.

But when someone tells me they're so depleted that just getting through the week feels impossible: no bandwidth for reflection, no energy for anything beyond survival – that's usually a sign therapy might help first.

3. Can you move forward – or is the past still unfinished?

Coaching looks ahead. We might touch on the past, but only to understand how it shapes the present so you can choose differently.

Therapy helps when the past won't let go - when thinking about the future gets hijacked by what happened before.

This doesn't necessarily mean childhood experiences – this could be a more recent wound like a redundancy or a failed relationship. If moving forward feels impossible while the past still feels unprocessed, that's where therapy does its essential work first.

These aren't hard boundaries, but they can help you notice what kind of support might serve you best. You don’t need to diagnose yourself to make a good choice. An honest conversation with a trusted practitioner will usually clarify what’s right for now.

Both can go deep - but in different ways.

A common misconception is that therapy is about depth and coaching is about action. In reality, both involve both.

Coaching doesn’t avoid emotions, the complexity and the messiness of being human; in fact, they often hold the key to understanding what matters most. But in coaching, we explore feelings in service of learning and change, not to process trauma or diagnose mental health conditions.

Therapy, meanwhile, often works with emotion to bring understanding and integration – to make sense of what’s happened so it no longer governs the present.

The difference isn’t the presence of feeling; it’s the intention behind the work.

Awareness as a shared foundation.

Both coaching and therapy deepen self-awareness – not as an end in itself, but as a conduit to choice.

In coaching, awareness grows through reflection and experimentation. You begin to notice the patterns and assumptions that shape how you show up in the world. Once you can see them clearly, you have the freedom to choose how you want to respond rather than repeat what’s automatic.

In therapy, awareness often also comes through exploring what was once too painful or confusing to face. Understanding those experiences brings a sense of coherence - and that, too, opens the possibility of new choices.

Together, they can form a continuum.

I often think of coaching and therapy as points on a continuum of personal development. Sometimes therapy clears the ground, and coaching continues the work into a phase of integration. Sometimes coaching brings awareness to something a client later explores in therapy.

I’ve worked with clients who engaged in both – their therapist helping them heal old wounds, and our coaching sessions focusing on areas where they felt resourced and ready to build a different kind of momentum.

And sometimes we can’t know from the start which approach will serve you best. That’s why it’s important to work with someone who’s clear about their scope of practice – a practitioner who will refer you if your needs are better met elsewhere. Ethical coaches and therapists both do that.

While coaching and therapy differ in purpose, their processes can sometimes look similar – both rely on curiosity, presence, and deep listening. What makes the difference is the direction of travel: healing versus development, repair versus expansion.

This balance between growth and emotional awareness sits at the heart of my coaching work.

If you’re unsure, start the conversation.

You don’t need to have it all figured out before reaching out for support. The most important thing is your willingness to begin.

A good coach or therapist will help you find the right path – and if you start in one place and later realise you need the other, that’s part of your growth.

My philosophy is simple: I want people to find the support that best fits where they are. If that turns out not to be me, that's absolutely fine – what matters is that you get what you need.

If you’d like to explore where you are on this spectrum and whether coaching might support you right now, feel free to get in touch via coaching@martaabramska.com.

I’d be happy to have an honest conversation about what kind of support could serve you best.